I’ve been fascinated by your concept of life. Listening to everything that triggered your emotionless spirit. Still, like a doctor, I wanted to nurture you back to health. I believed if I weathered the storm of your past. I could make you realize your worth. Instead, I’m the process I didn’t continue loving myself enough.
I am deeply sorry I wasn’t able to be exactly what you wanted me to be. I worked damn hard at perfecting this dream. I crafted this picture of what I thought we created as a team. Down the line, it all blew up in smithereens. You see, I was beyond living in your world because I loved your soul. I adored our history and I lost all control.
I could have never imagined you betray me the way you did. I understand your past wasn’t perfect either. I believed if I took the time to build you up into a man. A family that struggled together would build a mansion. I never once thought you test the waters. The pain that I have for your runs so deep. I’m not sure whether it could recover. Sometimes, my mind has sleepless nights. That just because I gave my all to you.
I am a person, I am a mother. A human being who gave my all. I seriously imagined I will be with you forever. Until months turned into years. Winters turned into summers. No real commitment, just playing house. That’s usually how the story goes, Right. Now, I’m stuck here left to figure this SHIT OUT. My brain can never rest because I play back scenes of everything like a movie.
You will never truly understand until someone feeds you the same spoon, you handfed me. That tough realization, I’ve given you all just to receive, nothing back. I am drained by the lack of respect and gratitude you showed. All I ever did was give you all my loyalty. Feelings are so delicate, people use them humorously.
I never recognized how broken you were until you deceived me. Our total existence has formed into a battle between both parents. Who, has the last word, challenge. It doesn’t take a month for someone just to magically heal. You must expect what I’m saying is for real. If I repeat myself about the same thing. I’m not just babbling because it’s fun.
This is an example of a woman scorned and embarrassed. I’m trying to suppress these feeling so I can become great in my own skin. Today, I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’m just informing you on a couple of things. I’m not scared to shed light on previous years.
Every person on this earth endures something that breaks them to there core. To build them back up to be stronger than ever. This right here is a part of my truth that everyone ashamed of dwelling upon. I don’t need your sympathy, not even your love. You spoke without speaking, and I’m recovering from your drug.
You should take this as a confession. The true meaning of my affection. Humbly, I say these things to you. In hopes of one day, You can be a new you. I can not be the woman that walks with all your problems anymore. I’ve carried this load for far too long. Exhausted, of playing myself.
Now we all know that saying two broken people cannot fix each other. I guess, your brokenness as left me wounded. I am standing up for every woman that has felt this stabbing pain. Weak moments, begging you to stay around. You always left me on standby.
For future reference, when you find someone special. Take time with her and nurture the flower that you want to bloom. Don’t tear down her spirits with your flesh moments. Be a friend before anything and a lover to follow. Stroke her heart like a drum because you are deeply invested. We need someone to listen too. Unfortunately, You weren’t willing to repair your broken heart. So hopefully the next woman will mend it.
Stroke your ego like a violin… Create music that will keep you tuned in. The melodies that I gave to you wasn’t enough. To repair the broken man inside of you. One day you’ll wake up and smell that fresh brew of coffee. The world that you created won’t be enticing. With every action, there is always a reaction.
This letter is for every trail of tears you left behind. Every voice you ignored, who actually loved you!
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