Co-parenting, that awkward word that was the hardest thing to accept on this earth. No one wants to admit that they’ve been through a failed relationship and how it leads to co-parenting. What the hell does this mean? Is there a stop button because I didn’t sign up for this. Let me decide how this whole parenting thing is going to go.
Then reality hits you, and you realize co-parenting has to be your new normal. Honestly, I initially didn’t want to accept that process. I felt like I was forced into having to be ok with this. I absolutely was not ok with having to learn how to be civilized adults. We didn’t have to be friends but we had to learn how to communicate without adding personal feelings into this situation. I was still battling past issues which can alter your decisions. Make things between you both so damn complicated.
Ladies, there was so much learning I had to do within this first year of trial and error. First, moving forward I had to become a better listener. There was always an issue between us talking at each other. That basically causes both parties not hearing each other equally. If you both can’t listen to each other concerns without yelling. How will you be able to talk regarding kids needs? This is something both of you need to work on if it’s a big issue. It definitely doesn’t resolve itself overnight, so don’t force it.
Arguing in front of the kids is a big No. Sometimes you don’t even see this argument starting to happen. It’s been the greatest battle ever in my life. Talking when the kids are not in the room is so much better. Screaming in front of them leaves wounds you don’t even recognize at the time. I candidly remember my five-year-old repeating everything from a previous conversation. My whole mind was blown by the questions she asked me at her tender age. Kids soak up so many memories that they experience in life. Please try and talk it out when their ears aren’t listening.
I’m not gonna lie and say that we ended things smoothly. Honestly, it ended like a sunken ship on a stormy day. I try to keep remain civil as possible because at the end of the day we have children in common. We’re not best friends but we have been able to talk regarding our children. That itself is so important for me to keep their relationship with their Dad secure. Regardless of my personal issues towards their father at anytime. This is something that I work on daily because it can be challenging at times.
As long as both parents are fighting to maintain one goal. The passion that you once shared with each other can be used to benefit your children. I always say to myself on rough days. “Kids don’t ask to be here, so try your hardest to keep things civil.”
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